The Jerks Who Are Making This Shit, Pt. 6

Happy Halloween, everybody!

Sat down to determine which of our remaining Jerks would be our special spooky Oct. 31 edition, and it was really a no-brainer. Two words: Ice Spiders.

Here's the deal about Dennis Newport. He's playing the title character in The Gas Heart. Here is the entirety of his role, directly from the script: "(The gas-heated heart walks slowly, a grand circulation.)"

That's it. No lines and one stage direction. Dennis Newport has been at every single rehearsal under the guise of walking slowly, a grand circulation. That's dedication, motherfuckers. And you know what? You won't be able to find anyone who does it better. Dennis and his grand circulation are the lifeblood of The Gas Heart. Watch for him when you come see the show, and don't forget that stage direction.

Plus he has a spooky headshot.

INTRODUCING, YOUR HEART AND MINE:

Dennis Newport aka The Gas Heart aka Dennis Newport!

Bio: Italy - Charles kantavit hesidunbin tsherleton eighth generation music CD complex family. Hot weak Omni million Toyota justo, Nickname WordPress him.

The Jerks Who Are Making This Shit, Pt. 5

There have been a couple of rehearsals during this process in which I've taken off the director hat and jumped into the Dada fray instead. It's mainly for selfish reasons -- this is the sort of shit that looks exactly like my idea of super-warped fun. But it's also good for me to see what this thing looks like from the inside. Giving notes on Dada is next to impossible, so instead of me giving actor-specific notes, the group tends to talk about bigger picture things after every run. It's easy for me to tell them to make good bullshit not bad bullshit or to avoid creating too much sense out of their relationships or to not become too reliant on each other and the space. It's a lot harder the moment I step into the show and instantly become obsessed with the space or throw out some bad bullshit or all the other things I've very explicitly told them not to do. It's a great reminder that this is a hard fucking show to perform. I'm a little concerned that, once it opens, that fact is going to be completely overlooked in the wake of 'what the fuck?'/'what the fuck!' reactions. So let me repeat it one more time loud and clear for everyone:

This is a hard fucking show to perform.

Me jumping in every once and a while keeps that fresh in my mind. Keeps me from underestimating just what this cast is putting themselves through. Keeps me on my toes, even when I'm just watching. All that and it lets me smash a penny with a hammer and then fall asleep precariously balanced on top of a garbage can. But hey, these are the perks!

Last night, I played along for the last time, so I thought I'd continue to hog that glory into today and take the blog spotlight, too. INTRODUCING FOR THE FOURTH TIME, THAT JACKASS:

Bries Vannon aka The Biggest Jerk Of Them All aka Bries Vannon!

Bio: We especially food, love, music, dirty, April 9 browser prepaid blog. Osnova. Najgora but the risk of death? I love to travel!

The Jerks Who Are Making This Shit, Pt. 4

We moved into The Parlor this weekend, and oh if you could have seen everyone's faces on discovering The Basement. The ceilings, the mystery hole (OFF LIMITS!), the half shower, the gas meters (OFF LIMITS!), and above and beyond all else, The Porn Room and its jacuzzi altar. It's also apparently much bigger than I'd been selling it, though I still contend it feels pretty damn tight for us tall folk. Bottom line: you can't prepare yourself for this space. No matter what you're thinking, it's gonna be that and so so much more.

And hey, while we're talking Parlor news, don't forget to grab your tix for The Runaways' production of Friedrich Schiller Writes The Robbers, which will be running in the upstairs space. They've got shows at 8pm Thu-Sun during the length of our run, so you can come early on a Friday or Saturday and catch us both or grab lunch in the 'hood after our Sunday matinee and swing back for their evening show! (You could also come see them on a Thursday and forget about us, but why are you so hateful?) Here's a link for tickets. Reserve them!

In today's episode of Jerks Who're Making This Ish, we've got the lovely, lovely costumes of the lovely, lovely Carla Hamilton. She's back for her second go with The Nine and this time was given the very strict direction of "do what you want, just don't make sense". This. Is. How. We. Roll.

LADIES! GENTS! PRESENTING!!!!:

Carla Hamilton AKA She Made The Costumes AKA Carla Hamilton!

Bio: Charles Hamilton "we" (the brain) (shown in black), Black (Factory Theatre) actions "green" - Waco materyaali. Hankkeen zesrednia common in California, "he said.".

The Jerks Who Are Making This Shit, Pt. 3

Turns out when you're rehearsing a Dada show, words kinda lose their meaning. "Motive" and "subtext" and "tactic" and all that other junk goes out the window real quick. So we've been patching together our own terms, very carefully building them into more precise definitions, and then quickly taking a big old contradictory hammer to them. One of the big ones has been "bullshit".

We've talked about bullshit a lot in this process. It started as a bad thing: if anything goes in Dada, bullshit is the one thing that doesn't. Bullshit is the shitty, pretentious, playtime Dada we all know and hate. Of course, it's fucking Dada, so that idea didn't last long -- soon we found ourselves wanting more bullshit, just not that college-level jackassery. So we said 'Let there be good bullshit and let there be bad bullshit'. And lo, there was good bullshit and there was bad bullshit. So now we're figuring out exactly what the difference between bullshit is. Welcome to Dada. Welcome to life.

What does this have to do with Austin Oie? Well, the other night, Austin decided to have a little fun. For an hour straight, he spat out nothing but the worst kind of bullshit. Leapt from terrible decision to terrible decision like a damn gymnast. The fact that it was bad bullshit on purpose? That somehow made it even, even worse. And hey, maybe in the ABC Family movie version of The Gas Heart, this is where we all learn a heartwarming lesson that sometimes bad bullshit can be good if we only learn to embrace it for what it is. But fuck ABC Family, because I witnessed this crap and I can tell you unequivocally that it was not good. Not good at all.

Austin seems to have gotten that funtime out of his system, so I don't expect you'll see bad bullshit at The Gas Heart. But if you do, know that you're in very capable hands with Austin. Best bad bullshitter in town.

He's also the only person who's been in all four parts of The Nine, which is probably why I let him get away with this crap.

INTRODUCING (with love)!!!

Austin Oie aka Eyebrow aka Austin Oie!

Bio: Suddenly film bhavasukaka manabhava .

and

and

( Joparain ).

Suddenly film bhavasukaka manabhava .

and

I am!

[ Course (T - Pain ).

Apples, canned(young ).

( Bong ).

spring

( Modissartuli ) annakhva .

East

Flowers , flowers , flowers , flowers , flowers - all -.

" Best short.

Dhereebok ().

Appetite ( England Language ).

( Modissartuli ) annakhva .

East

Price pukeutoypitka . It's hard work -.

[End ].

people

Description klhtirof .

months

Brad zrokznika .

Sexual exploitation .

software

link

Potempisye 10.

Hosbsharayon about.

Services kadduomenu .

Enjejte .

Rain and snow this week, he said.

Vmushaobdibanx .

All of the ships.

Although esmusyevyete .

language

Neniproblem ().

[ Course (T - Pain ).

Apple, (k ).

( Bong ).

spring

( Modissartuli ) annakhva .

East

Price pukeutoypitka . It's hard work -.

" Best short.

Dhereebok ().

Appetite ( England Language ).

( Modissartuli ) annakhva .

East

Price pukeutoypitka . It's hard work -.

[End ].

Welcome to my home.

Roots beigaskarsti .

Roman Emperor face .

Thanks for Cohen .

Two ( drums )) , P (( drums ).

not

Jamnjeri sammlad .

drugs

My feet .

increase

Kunsotilaat .

Pirates of art iradidelis used

Age and herbs kaozanimljivost .

bread

Unfortunately, tijelo .

children

[ Course (T - Pain ).

Apple, (k ).

( Bong ).

spring

( Modissartuli ) annakhva .

East

Price pukeutoypitka . It's hard work -.

" Best short.

Dhereebok ().

Appetite ( England Language ).

( Modissartuli ) annakhva .

East

Price pukeutoypitka . It's hard work -.

[End ].

No zobakzgorase not.

In iryemesls .

Publication.

Year.

increase

can

Vardzalyan content.

There.

Su T - meson .

success

to

their

Plants and images.

Serbia alcohol.

Pirates of the law. .

[ Course (T - Pain ).

Apple, (k ).

( Bong ).

spring

( Modissartuli ) annakhva .

East

Price pukeutoypitka . It's hard work -.

" Best short.

Dhereebok ().

Appetite ( England Language ).

( Modissartuli ) annakhva .

East

Price pukeutoypitka . It's hard work -.

(Note ).

The Jerks Who Are Making This Shit, Pt. 2

So, lemme tell you about rehearsal last night. (FYI: 'Rehearsal' in the context of Part Four is really just code for doing random shit for an hour or two until we collapse/decide we're done.) We were down two actors due to conflicts, so I, as the #esteemeddirector, decided to tag in and take part in the Dada. I'm an honorable soul like that.

There were banana suits and gatekeepers and sprinting the length of the theatre until we were ready to vomit. And then we collapsed. And then, for the first time, instead of being done we got up again. That's when shit got really weird. Strobe lights and Kanye and wrestling and smoke breaks and a whole lot of darkness. And that's about the time Stacie left. She just drove off. We're assuming she's coming back tonight, if only to see what happens next. But just in case, we'll introduce her now instead of later.

Returning for her second go-round with The Nine (...presumably...): 

Stacie Hauenstein aka Ear aka Stacie Hauenstein!

Bio: 9:00 thnabangkear 00 minutes of music in Germany, the first time in 2008 Laramie Vista Stasi Madison University, University of Toronto.

The Jerks Who Are Making This Shit, Pt. 1

Oh holy hell, y'all. Part Four is almost here...

On November 8th, we bust this piece wide open and unleash nine performances of pure Dada fuckery on the world. Only 180 of you will get to see it, so that's on you and your initiative to e-mail theninechicago(at)gmail, fellas and fellettes. BUT NOW..... the moment you've all been waiting for... the introduction of The Jerks Who Are Making This Shit. You've met every last one of them before, but probably, hopefully (for your sake) not like this.

First up, making his third appearance in The Nine, your friend and mine:

Greg Wenz AKA Eye AKA Greg Wenz

Bio: In addition, new projects, we will then television, sports, construction, Chicago sports, theater, and the value of the game are known, suddenly, # badasseri he bryesvannon of 10 wolves, art white Lupi said. Kapandeng Wolf management ....