Yeah, we're shilling ourselves. We've plastered our name and image on a bunch of shit and are putting it out there for you to buy. We're shameless... what can I say? But here's the thing: we know we're shameless, so we're gonna make it up to you. We know that setting up a cafepress shop takes little creativity and even less effort and you, good friends, deserve better than that. (It's the same reason you'll never see a The Nine bar fundraiser. A house party, on the other hand, is worth preparing for -- I'm serious -- but that's a motherfucking house party, amiright?) So we're taking our cafepress shop and using it as a springboard to give you the better that you deserve. Allow me to illustrate:
A) First of all, this ain't just any logo that you're pasting on your cute lil' patoot. If I do say so myself, our green cross is a pretty sweet image. Simple, sturdy, and with just the right amount of brickhouse attitude, it stands up and announces itself without saying "Hey, I'm a theatre t-shirt!" Because, as much as we love what we do, we'd rather you look good than like a billboard. Then, when you're beating off all the guys and gals with a stick, you can casually slip our name and website into the pillow talk. It's like being part of a street team, except you also get laid as part of the deal. *Please note, this is all conjecture. But you're a good bunch, I've got faith.*
B) What I will guarantee you is the best customer service you could ask for on our part. You'll see we have a couple of variations on the image -- there's the cross with text, without, a couple of slight variations in size, and that fun smaller 'you are here' image. Those things can each be put on any of the items shown. Want a shirt with a different version of the cross than we're displaying or an image on back instead of front? We'll take care of that for you! Want a cafepress product that we don't have listed? We'll look into getting it up there! (Though, I'll warn you; much as I love the cross, there's a couple items/colors it just doesn't work with.) Have questions or comments? We'll listen to them! Just drop us a line at TheNineChicago@gmail.com. The world's your oyster.
C) We'll keep taking care of you even beyond that! Wear/bring your Nine swag to the show and get a free gift! A free gift that all of those suckers who don't have your sweet threads will have to pay for! Really, though, I'm serious. Granted, it'll be smallish, but anyone with their Nine merchandise at the show will get a free goodie bag that we would charge anyone else for. Apparently, I just like to give stuff away...
D) I'm a little serious about that keepsake stuff. As I mentioned last time, anyone who comes to see subUrbia is part of a very exclusive group. Anyone who comes to the entire nine show cycle will be part of an extremely exclusive group. And when it's done, it's done for good. Have something to remember us by. I've got my own little plans for a special souvenir for each show. If you're looking to be one of the magic 180, why not do the same? Get creative! We're just the enablers here.
E) And finally, yes, it will help us financially as well. 100% of the profit we make from all sales on cafepress will go towards the next show. In this case, that's Part Two: Radio Silence (an evening of radio-esque shorts: Words And Music by Samuel Beckett, Peculiar Way by Paul Rekk, and The Eiffel Tower Wedding Party by Jean Cocteau). Because again, if you want to help, we don't want you to pay for something already done, we want your support in making something new.
There, I unleash you unto the world of commerce, go and purchase freely! Next time, I'll even tell you what the cross is all about...
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