The Jerks Who Are Making This Shit, Pt. 10

Here we are! Opening night! And our final jerk!

But first, a shout out to all our other little jerks:

Our kickass assistant directors: Moira Begale, Devan Cameron, Adam McDowell, and Jeremy Ohringer.

All the other very special people: Olivia Lilley & The Parlor; Joe Stearns, Ronan Marra, Stephanie Ingram & Signal Ensemble Theatre; Erica Barnes; Jesus Contreras; Lloyd Mulvey; and everyone who's worked with us on Nines past.

And of course: you. all of you who have come to see a previous part of The Nine. all of you who are coming to see Part Four. all of you who are reading this. you're all our favorite little jerks. thanks.

NOW! DOWN TO IT!

I left Anthony DeMarco as the final Jerk to be introduced because he tends to be the calming center once this cast gets up and running. I thought that would be a good energy to evoke going into opening. Of course, there was the time he went on a rampage and threw everything not nailed down into one corner of the basement. Or the multiple times pissed off Anthony came out when other people wouldn't go to sleep when he wanted them to. Or that Friday he sent out a gchat trying to figure out why he didn't get a post on the blog yet because it's already opening night.

Okay, revision: Anthony's the calming center most of the time. And the rest of the time? Watch yoself. He'll show you what he's working with.

AND NOW, FOR THE THIRD TIME WITH THE NINE, OUR FINAL JERK:

Anthony DeMarco aka Nose aka Anthony DeMarco!

Bio: Anthony (Anthony market) and market New York soalan arrtshye seneatshai stravdog director Red Hat 9 and the number of brain cells.

The Jerks Who Are Making This Shit, Pt. 9

It's the home stretch, pals! Tomorrow night we open! Tomorrow night we party! (Well, that's not necessarily exclusive to tomorrow, but roll with me.) Tomorrow night we take over the whole damn world! I mean, the whole damn basement of 1434 N. Western! Set your sights high!

So, you're probably asking why there's a picture of Batman on this post. Reasonable question. But look closer. Is that Batman? Or is it Nick Mikula? Or... could it be... both? Just ponder for a second.

All you lovelies -- for the third time with The Nine, put your god damn bathands together for!!!!

Nick Mikula aka Neck aka Nick Mikula!

Bio: Success, "Macbeth" (Greece), 500 (Jing) 1000 Hot Night (Seneca Chicago) and eight defeats Caroline and John, I miklos "(center) selected song (the Council) (right)."

The Jerks Who Are Making This Shit, Pt. 8

Oh hello, didn't see you there. Was just sitting here reading the Chicago Reader's review of The Gas Heart. Would you like to see?

"Go lie down," say each of the six disembodied characters—Eye, Mouth, Nose, Ear, Neck, and Eyebrow—at the end of Tristan Tzara's brash, non sequiturial Dada masterpiece. And on opening night all the actors lay motionless, muttering, "Go to sleep," for so long that half the audience (half being two people) walked out. Director Bries Vannon's ingeniously aggravating finale to the Nine's raw, chaotic production, staged in an unfinished residential basement, is an assault on middle-class theatrical convention that brings Tzara's playful aesthetic thrillingly to life. The preceding hour, however, doesn't. Vannon discards Tzara's tight rhythms and exacting structure in favor of a middling free-for-all, as the performers futz listlessly and toss out occasional lines from the script. Rather than high-relief absurdity, it's featureless diddling. —Justin Hayford

Look at that -- something for everyone. Featureless diddling, an assault on middle-class theatrical convention, ingenious aggravation, raw chaos, listless futzing, ALL THE FUN WORDS.

We officially open this Friday, which means a full third of your chances to see this show happen this weekend. A. Full. Third. You know what to do.

Today, we meet Mary Jo -- you might remember her from her previous adventures in Part Two. Actually, let me rephrase: you damn well better remember her from her previous adventures in Part Two. And speaking of our review, MJ has something she wants on the official record. She says all of her lines from The Gas Heart. At some point. In some manner. Somewhere.

INNNNNNNTRODUCING!

 Mary Jo Bolduc aka Mouth aka Mary Jo Bolduc!

Bio: I - ... The good news arrtshye Chicago and rural life, stress and vspk room komedisportz akavavit to be able to follow the nine ships, thank you ... A cheese.

The Jerks Who Are Making This Shit, Pt. 7

Well, it's almost here -- final dress tonight, previews tomorrow and Sunday, and then we open next Friday! Jesus H., you all, they grow up so fast. Before you know it, we'll be kissing the Porn Room goodbye, except not literally, because gross.

Nah, j/k. We've got plenty of other nasty things to do to the Porn Room before we bid adieu.

There's still a few folks you're waiting to meet, but today I wanna bring it back a notch for the only one of this crew that I feel ever-so-slightly bad about calling a Jerk Who Is Making This Shit. Michelle Carlene Roth, our all-star stage manager, kinda sorta got roped into this gig by a half-lie on my part. "Super-easy gig," I said, "the only thing you really have to do is make sure everyone's alive!" And, technically, that's not wrong. Except I left out the part where Michelle also has to put up with the theatrical equivalent of seven (eight if you count me) toddlers eating their way out of a pile of Pixy Stix. Or the part where 'make sure everyone's alive' isn't necessarily the cakewalk you'd think. Or the part about The Basement. The other day, during a particularly hectic rehearsal (...the one where the cast discovered fire...), I mentioned that I felt like Kindergarten Cop. Michelle signed up for a full run as Kindergarten Cop. God bless her.

BUT! She also gets to be 100% in charge of the dance break. So don't try and tell me there aren't perks.

YOU MAY REMEMBER HER AS A DANCING OSTRICH! NOW SEE HER AS ONE OF ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER'S LESSER ROLES:

Michelle Carlene Roth aka Dear God, How Does She Do It? aka Michelle Carlene Roth!

Bio: Michael Carl clean rooms, modern and contemporary theater Chicago Theatre Chicago, stroke, heart disease, and Mitchell, South Dakota, Asia, and the number of games bovavo mud volcano Prometheus credit increase. Center towers (ACE), the Pacific, see

The Jerks Who Are Making This Shit, Pt. 6

Happy Halloween, everybody!

Sat down to determine which of our remaining Jerks would be our special spooky Oct. 31 edition, and it was really a no-brainer. Two words: Ice Spiders.

Here's the deal about Dennis Newport. He's playing the title character in The Gas Heart. Here is the entirety of his role, directly from the script: "(The gas-heated heart walks slowly, a grand circulation.)"

That's it. No lines and one stage direction. Dennis Newport has been at every single rehearsal under the guise of walking slowly, a grand circulation. That's dedication, motherfuckers. And you know what? You won't be able to find anyone who does it better. Dennis and his grand circulation are the lifeblood of The Gas Heart. Watch for him when you come see the show, and don't forget that stage direction.

Plus he has a spooky headshot.

INTRODUCING, YOUR HEART AND MINE:

Dennis Newport aka The Gas Heart aka Dennis Newport!

Bio: Italy - Charles kantavit hesidunbin tsherleton eighth generation music CD complex family. Hot weak Omni million Toyota justo, Nickname WordPress him.

The Jerks Who Are Making This Shit, Pt. 5

There have been a couple of rehearsals during this process in which I've taken off the director hat and jumped into the Dada fray instead. It's mainly for selfish reasons -- this is the sort of shit that looks exactly like my idea of super-warped fun. But it's also good for me to see what this thing looks like from the inside. Giving notes on Dada is next to impossible, so instead of me giving actor-specific notes, the group tends to talk about bigger picture things after every run. It's easy for me to tell them to make good bullshit not bad bullshit or to avoid creating too much sense out of their relationships or to not become too reliant on each other and the space. It's a lot harder the moment I step into the show and instantly become obsessed with the space or throw out some bad bullshit or all the other things I've very explicitly told them not to do. It's a great reminder that this is a hard fucking show to perform. I'm a little concerned that, once it opens, that fact is going to be completely overlooked in the wake of 'what the fuck?'/'what the fuck!' reactions. So let me repeat it one more time loud and clear for everyone:

This is a hard fucking show to perform.

Me jumping in every once and a while keeps that fresh in my mind. Keeps me from underestimating just what this cast is putting themselves through. Keeps me on my toes, even when I'm just watching. All that and it lets me smash a penny with a hammer and then fall asleep precariously balanced on top of a garbage can. But hey, these are the perks!

Last night, I played along for the last time, so I thought I'd continue to hog that glory into today and take the blog spotlight, too. INTRODUCING FOR THE FOURTH TIME, THAT JACKASS:

Bries Vannon aka The Biggest Jerk Of Them All aka Bries Vannon!

Bio: We especially food, love, music, dirty, April 9 browser prepaid blog. Osnova. Najgora but the risk of death? I love to travel!

The Jerks Who Are Making This Shit, Pt. 4

We moved into The Parlor this weekend, and oh if you could have seen everyone's faces on discovering The Basement. The ceilings, the mystery hole (OFF LIMITS!), the half shower, the gas meters (OFF LIMITS!), and above and beyond all else, The Porn Room and its jacuzzi altar. It's also apparently much bigger than I'd been selling it, though I still contend it feels pretty damn tight for us tall folk. Bottom line: you can't prepare yourself for this space. No matter what you're thinking, it's gonna be that and so so much more.

And hey, while we're talking Parlor news, don't forget to grab your tix for The Runaways' production of Friedrich Schiller Writes The Robbers, which will be running in the upstairs space. They've got shows at 8pm Thu-Sun during the length of our run, so you can come early on a Friday or Saturday and catch us both or grab lunch in the 'hood after our Sunday matinee and swing back for their evening show! (You could also come see them on a Thursday and forget about us, but why are you so hateful?) Here's a link for tickets. Reserve them!

In today's episode of Jerks Who're Making This Ish, we've got the lovely, lovely costumes of the lovely, lovely Carla Hamilton. She's back for her second go with The Nine and this time was given the very strict direction of "do what you want, just don't make sense". This. Is. How. We. Roll.

LADIES! GENTS! PRESENTING!!!!:

Carla Hamilton AKA She Made The Costumes AKA Carla Hamilton!

Bio: Charles Hamilton "we" (the brain) (shown in black), Black (Factory Theatre) actions "green" - Waco materyaali. Hankkeen zesrednia common in California, "he said.".